There are few things more important to an aging parent or grandparent than a desire to pass along a history, a legacy if you will, that is their own version. The problem so often is that memory fades or is corrupted by time. Several years ago, I began this process by writing a lengthy booklet, “I Remember.” I think each of you, our children, and grandchildren, received a copy. This short paper will not review that earlier work. Rather, I’d like to focus on values, the things that have driven me thru these eight plus decades. This is not meant as a sermon, though it may read that way, nor is it meant as either a reason or apology for what you may remember of my actions. Also, these words are mine alone. Your mom or grandmother and I have shared 61 years together. She has been my love and best friend through all those years, and the values I speak of here are values we have shared and tried to live out together, but this recounting is my story.
I’ve said too often that we don’t choose our parents, or when and where we live. They are God’s gift. I was gifted to have parents who loved Jesus and modeled that love in my childhood home. Although they both were first generation immigrant children, they provided a home for me and my siblings that looked outward and gave me both a sense of an anchored past as well as a promising future, That gift launched my adult life, beginning at Wheaton College, then medical school and into my own marriage and family. That gift included an assurance of their love and support. But as importantly, a desire to build my/our life on the faith that is grounded in a love for Jesus.
The understanding given by our branch of the Christian faith at the time of my childhood was that I was born sinful, alienated from God because of Adams sin. And that alienation condemned me to an eternity separated from God. But there was a way of salvation—to believe in Jesus, His death paid the penalty for Adams sin, and for mine too. Because of His sacrifice and my belief, I could go to Heaven to live with Him eternally. And I did believe. I walked down the aisle to ask for forgiveness at a revival meeting when I was seven years old, that act has anchored my faith walk ever since. And although I had but a faint juvenile understanding of what I did, it has been the guidepost for my faith ever since.
I must confess to you; my understanding of that experience has changed over these years. It’s easy to criticize my upbringing and the rules that defined my faith in those years. Because it truly was the rules that separated us from “the world.” But again, recognizing that my home wasn’t my choice but was a God given gift, I’m thankful for that gift. I expect the rules that defined my faith life protected me from more than a few bad choices. But I recognize that they isolated me, and our family in ways that I might regret today. My understanding of my faith today is more grace filled. My acceptance as a follower of Jesus doesn’t depend on the keeping the rules. And that truth is tremendously freeing.
Today I understand the gospel I accepted as a child is so much more than the promise of my getting to Heaven. I understand my “salvation” as an initiation into a great stream of God’s people extending back to the Old Testament person of Abraham, thru the history of Israel to Jesus, and from then into the Church Although our denomination didn’t emphasize baptism as any entry into that stream, from New Testament times that has been it’s history. My baptism at age 8, by my dad, was that introduction, and my life has been formed by that membership ever since.
My faith journey has spanned eight decades, and there have been many detours and digressions, times when my understanding of my faith has grown and times where the questions almost overwhelm me. As I have grown older, I’ve become more and more convinced that any answer to the great questions of significance and meaning in life lies in my faithful acceptance of God’s grace and mercy. That assurance has come thru friendships both within and outside the church. And from the wonderful friend and companion my wife has been. We have shared our faith as we raised our family and have sought to model God’s love for our family and those around us. One lesson we’ve learned together is how much we need others to assist and to affirm our walk. I/we are not alone.
These past years in retirement have been tumultuous as the world changes, and as we are intimately aware of those changes as they occur, (thanks to the internet). The opportunity to be involved in teaching and mentoring in Ukraine gave me insight into how God’s people can bless the world around them even when struggling to find meaning for themselves. That has been another confirmation for me of the beauty of belonging to a community of committed Christ followers dedicated to the relief of suffering. My great disappointment has been our inability to bring effective compassionate relief to those hurting so much across the world, but even more in our own country. The community of the Church, God’s people, are divided more than at any time in my remembrance, and it hurts. But there are many communities who are actively working to bless, and I pray for and affirm their work.
So, my family, what do I want to leave you? I’d like you to know that I deeply love each of you. My life has been directed by a love for Jesus and a deep desire to be the kind of man, husband, and father that He would want me to be. That has meant that I have spent my life in a community, a Church if you will, that has walked and affirmed my faith even when I have been unsure. That faith has been grounded in the Bible’s narrative of God’s merciful care for His people, and assurance that meaning and significance in my life rests in Him alone. The result of that assurance has given me the opportunity to freely be involved in the lives of others as friend, mentor, teacher, and even doctor! It’s been a wonderful and fruitful life. I commend that commitment, that faith, to you. God is so good!
